"Turning Goys into Girls" - Week 3

Michelle Cottle’s astonishing Washington Monthly essay, “Turning Goys into Girls”, does an excellent job explaining how the equality of men and women is being achieved. Many without reading this article would think that this means women are becoming more like men - less concerned about how they look and what they wear and more concerned with their social and economical statuses. While the status quo may be heading that way as well, this is not what the author was writing about. “The irony is rich and bittersweet. Gender equity is at last headed our way-not in the form of women being less obsessed with looking like Calvin Klein models, but of men becoming hysterical over the first signs of crows-feet. Gradually, guys are no longer pumping up and primping simply to get babes, but because they feel it’s something everyone expects them to do” (Argument! 263). Men’s magazines such as Men’s Health, GQ, Details, and Men’s Journal are matching women’s magazines with messages about achieving the perfect image. Statistics show that men are buying these messages as U.S. men’s toiletries brought in $3.5 billion the year that this essay was published, 20% of men get manicures and pedicures, and 18% use skin treatments. The author’s point of the article is this: Equality is finally being reached. However, it is creating men that are closer to women, not women that are closer to men. I am in agreement with Cottle until this point: She applauds this trend.

In fact, the first sentence of the essay displays the fact that this trend, in her mind, has a positive connotation. “I love Men’s Health magazine” (Argument! 260). She loves it. She loves that  “this magazine, and a few others like it, are leveling the playing field of in a way that Ms. can only dream of (Argument! 260). Although the essay never states it outright, Cottle speaks in a way that suggests she dislikes the fact that women are told to be their own kind of beautiful and yet are still pushed from articles and famous stars to be the most beautiful, artificial, skinny woman possible. Instead of addressing these facts, she basks in the light of the fact that we as women are now pulling men down with us. If we can’t lift up the generation of women, let’s pull down the men with us, right? Equality.

She recognizes that this is bittersweet. In fact, her wish is for everyone to understand that Hollywood stars are not regular people. The media creates an unrealistic image. But she still says, “Until they do, however, I guess my consolation will have to be the image of thousands of once-proud men... lining up for their laser peels” (Argument! 263) Cottle has a positive connotation on this subject because it is consolation for her. She has a positive connotation because she believes the truth of what is really happening to be negative.

In her argument, she does a fantastic job of getting her point across using her tone. She does this in a few ways. First, she puts words into quotation marks. For example, Cottle will describe actions as “girly” or “a guy thing”. The use of these quotation marks questions their validity and suggests that they are no longer “girly” or only for guys. She is furthering her point of equality. Second, she uses a fairly simple sentence structure and addresses the reader. “Don’t you see, ladies? (Argument! 260) This does two things. First, it shows that her tone is more relaxed. This is because of who the audience is. This point leads us to the second thing that the structure does. It identifies who her readers are: the average ladies. Her simple sentence structure encourages all women to read it. Her use of the word “ladies” obviously shows us that she is directing this article to a female audience. Second, it makes the essay easier to read for the average person. Her last strategic tone method is wording. The best example is seen in the title. The word “Goys” means a non-jew; a gentile; a believer. The author’s point of using this word stresses the fact that moral guys are turning into girls.

Cottle’s writing has very credible sources. She has statistics or quotes for practically every statement she makes, coming anywhere from The American Academy of Cosmetic Surgery to the March “winner” basketball coach, Bobby Knight. Because her facts are so credible, I do not question that this equality is true.

This brings my back to where I disagree with Michelle Cottle. I do not applaud this new trend.

Are any of these aspirations of beauty fulfilling? As these statistics show more and more men and women continually changing themselves, we can see that self-fulfilling actions are not fulfilling. Sandra Oh from Grey’s Anatomy even admits that making money and fame is not fulfilling.

"It's too hard to be an actor in this business -- especially now, I don't know why but I feel like it's harder now -- to not have a way bigger picture, and to be aligned with something much greater than getting a part, or being famous, or making money. For me, that's not fulfilling" (http://www.cbc.ca/strombo/videos/sandra-oh-on-choosing-not-to-be-a-celebrity).

I have personally seen that these things are not fulfilling. I am never completely satisfied with how I look in the mirror. Getting perfect grades never satisfied, because there was always the next grade. I never completely acted the right way. The reality is, by following these magazines, readers will always be left saying “if I could just do this”. I don’t want to be left unsatisfied. I am tired of that life.

That is why I turned to the Almighty God, who gives eternal life and forgiveness to people that mess up. He holds the world together and promises rest.

Now, everything I do filters through: What does the Bible say?

I believe that God is sovereign and He is the highest level of Authority. Because the Bible is “God breathed” (it is His words), I believe that it also holds the highest level of authority. Thus, all of my beliefs are filtered through what the Bible says.

The Bible is very clear about a biblical man.

“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.” (1 Corinthians 16:13-14)

Yes, be strong. But is the Bible really looking for men to lift weights and eat protein drinks?

“Whatever you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31)

Thus, being strong is not so that you are “considered attractive and desirable” (Argument! 261). It is for the glory of God! It is so that believers of Him can please Him with their actions as a worship offering to Him.

Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. (Colossians 3:23)

Men and women are called to work hard and take care of their bodies because they are working for the Lord, not so that they can be better than the person next to them. That small self-serving goal is incredibly unsatisfying, isn’t it, readers?

In fact, believers are called to flee temptations of self-serving things.

“Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” (2 Timothy 2:22)

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests, but each of you to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4)

For the roles of men, the Bible is clear that they are to be leaders. “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.” (1 Corinthians 11:3)

The Bible is also clear that women are to be the keepers of the house and submit to their husbands. Proverbs 31 explains that a godly woman is a hard worker, provides food for her household, is strong, is a mother, shops, is encouraging, and many other things. It does not say that she may not have an outside job. Thus, I agree that equality of women is a very good thing. However, I only agree to a certain extent. She still has a responsibility to respect men and take care of a house. If she wants to have an outside job as well, I believe she should have equal opportunity. Even in that job, though, she is called to be respectful.

What am I saying? On one hand, I agree that this trend is happening. I agree that men and women are becoming more equal – both are falling into self-glorifying actions. On the other hand, I do not address this with a positive connotation.

These verses given are not meant to be an impossible thing to attain either. I realize that no one is perfect, and so does the Bible. “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23) I agree that we will never be perfect, and I understand that asking men and women to do these things is hard.

However, God promises amazing blessings from following Him.

“And my God will supply ever need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19)

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Phillipians 4:7)

He promises forgiveness, not judgment like the world gives, when we mess up.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

“I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.” (Isaiah 43:25)

“Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.” (Acts 3:19)

I see the trends showing that gender equality is continually being strengthened. I do not argue with Michelle Cottle on this fact; she has fantastic support, a thorough connotation, and an impactful tone. I applaud the work of this author. However, I do not applaud her for her overall view on the work. I believe that men are to be leaders, looking first to the glory of God and second to the good of others. I believe women are to first follow God, second respect men and others, and yet still have a chance at equal opportunity for jobs. This might sound like it is taking away rights. However, I assure you that God’s plan is “immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20). God gives His believers perfect and fulfilling forgiveness, strength, peace, and love.

Now that has a positive connotation.